Something has been different about this past summer.
It was a return to all the things I’ve always loved–writing, running, all things fantasy and wild and witchy.
It’s been bracelet making and screaming to my fave Taylor Swift songs, playing in the pool and going down water slides with my friends, running across my old college campus and celebrating love in the bar we always used to go to. I’ve been breathing deeper and having more fun, not as worried what I look like or what others think.
I’ve embraced all the weirdest things I love, like fantasy books, Animal Crossing, and writing about people who can do extraordinary things. Stars and flowers and swords. I don’t think those things will ever go away.
I’ve been creating more just for fun, without my perfectionist self getting in the way. Stickers and stamps in journal pages, terrible watercolor paintings, and short snippets of stories that may never turn into anything. Just letting go of my brain saying everything has to be perfect or it’s not worth doing.
I think younger me would’ve been thrilled to see all the things I’ve always loved still be around–the piles of books, the running shoes, the journals filled with lists and quotes, the photos of trips. That I’m still here, still trying to create things, that I’m living a life I’m proud of.
This summer has been different because it’s felt like a love letter to all the old versions of me and the me now. It’s been different because I’ve been finding that magic I lost for a while, that excitement for life that’s faded over time. I’ve found that girlhood is not something that has to go away forever.
Your twenties seem like a return to whatever you obsessed over as a teenager, and it’s been a joy to no longer care if this doesn’t make me fit in or if people will think I’m weird (after all, I *am* weird). It’s been the best time to fully lean into all the things I love, to just enjoying the version of me I am now.
Until next time,
J
Jessie Spangler 
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